Friday, December 28, 2007

Birth goals

With the new year on the horizon I've been thinking about goal setting. I recently got something in the mail from someone I've worked with that had some ideas about resolutions and new beginnings. I was going over some of these things and wanted to apply them to birth. I've made a handout that I'm going to share with my clients when we go over "birth plans". Here are some of the details from the handout. One of my goals for this year is to post more regularly in this blog and keep it birth related. We'll see!

1 - Choose your goal
Specifically ask yourself, what is it that I want? Write it down!

2- What will make attaining this easier?
Attending a childbirth class, hiring a doula, planning a homebirth, attending ICAN, LLL or other supportive meetings, choosing a supportive doctor or midwife.

3- What's my motivation?
Why is this type of birth important to you? What are your beliefs about birth?

4- Obstacles and solutions.
Write out your obstacles that hinder your goals and possible solutions to help you overcome these obstacles.

5- What's my roadmap to success?
Create a plan. Figure out what you need to help you achieve your goal - then do it!

6- My moral support
List the people you can rely on who will truly be supportive of what you need. People can have specific roles, or just be there to count on for positive conversation, meals, babysitting, or labor support.

7- Visualize
Imagine yourself achieving your goal. Where are you? How are you feeling? Who is with you? What is going on around you?

8- My slogan
Think positive! Use affirmations such as, "my body was created to do this", "I am beautiful and healthy", and "I can do this!".

I have not been productive at all today so my brain feels like mush. I've been trying to clean out closets but my sweet little guy is on a nursing kick. It's great because I can sit and chill (and surf the net!) but I really want to get some stuff done! To everything there is a season. The closets will wait and I'll enjoy this time!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

the one with breasts

So I was reading a thing about weaning your baby and this lady said she really wanted her breasts back and her husband really wanted them back. I have nursed every day for the past 5 years and 3 months except for a few weeks during one pregnancy. I do not like nursing during pregnancy very much. But we did it and it was ok and it made everyone happier in the end. I like breasts though. They're great. And my nurslings like my breasts. They both get incredibly excited when they see them. My husband - I'm sure he'd say he likes them too, except that the moment he hears the word "breasts" he probably stops thinking a little bit. (I don't know if he reads this so I can probably make fun of him all I want. If he gets mad I can show him the breasts right?)

I read another article, this time in Newsweek, about "mommy makeovers". You know, the plastic surgery we get after we have kids so we don't look like we had kids? I'm lazy so I'm not going to go get the magazine and quote but this lady said something great about how- hey! we're not 20 anymore and we had kids! What's so wrong with looking like that? Plenty I guess. And then someone ordered me a subscription to Glamour in my maiden name and it's being sent to my parents. They have implant ads, much like pharmaceutical ads. The back page of the add lists all the adverse reactions and such and I had no idea that they were so problematic. In the first 7 years or something there's around a 50% chance of needing them replaced. And it said in there that an augmentation is not a one time surgery, that you should expect to do it multiple times in your life. And doesn't it hurt? Because that would be the biggest turn off for me. I used to be not entirely happy with my body, mostly because of crap like that. We can doctor and photoshop everyone and then plaster it all over and say THIS is beautiful when nobody really looks like that. I just want everyone to feel beautiful. My friend Bonnie has a website called The Shape of a Mother that I just love. It's a service to women everywhere.

But back to my boobs. I am nursing a now 3 year old and a 5 month old. And I am wanting to be done with the 3 year old. I have never weaned a child before - I have fully believed in child lead weaning. Until now. Until I had this child that screams and kicks and hits and begs and cries to nurse. I do not want to be cruel. I don't want to take something from him that he obviously feels that he needs. But I want to be done with it. And it's so hard because my boobs are always there because of the baby.

Have you ever weaned a toddler? What did you do? (If any of these ideas could help him magically sleep in his own bed, I would love that too!)

Friday, November 16, 2007

Women in my life

Heather has inspired me. Through the years I've often thought of different women and the effect they had on my life. They have been YW leaders, teachers, and neighbors. I haven't seen them in many years. I thought about sending a graduation announcement to my first grade teacher, but chickened out thinking she wouldn't remember me and I would be embarrassed. Etc. etc.

So. My friend google gave me three addresses. I wasn't able to find two that I looked for. I'm going to send cards to these three women. I'm not going to worry about a reply or (crap!) if it gets to the wrong person.

I grew up in California. My first grade teacher was so incredible. She found out that I was LDS and she was excited because she was too. Here in Utah it might be common but I can think of only 3 LDS teachers I ever had. She invited me home with her to swim in her apartment complex pool. She came to my house and watched The Wizard of Oz and ate popcorn with me. She got engaged and borrowed my dad's RX7 to show her fiance the new car she got (April Fool!) She got married and moved to Utah. All these years later I've ended up here as well. It would be interesting to see if we ever see each other again!

Another person I think of is a neighbor I had. I babysat for them and spent time in their house. I was probably in my early teens when I went there once and saw her breastfeeding a (gasp!) toddler. I was thinking - this kid can talk! She has teeth! What?! Truthfully I had no concept of baby feeding in general. I hadn't even begun to think about those things. It left me with no impression. Now that I'm Super Granola Mom (or something like that) I've thought back to other mothers that I've been around growing up. I can't remember birth or feeding ever really coming up. I wish I had known more about the women that surrounded me. This memory came back to me and now that I know better I think of this woman and her parenting and I understand that she was/is a great mother. I'm thankful for her not being shy about nursing her toddler in front of the neighbor kid.

The last person is a YW leader that I had. She was always kind. Always soft spoken. Always, always. I babysat for them quite a bit as well. I'm so impressed with her patience, her love for her kids, her attentiveness to them, and her optimism and kindness. She is one of those beautiful easy people to love.

There were a couple other YW leaders I had that I would love to send cards to also. I'm sure through other past ward members I can track them down so I'll be trying to do that. In the meantime - wish me luck!